They always "miss you" after club hours.
No one ever calls me.
Until I have swollen tonsils and can’t talk. Bitches.
"I look better without makeup."
No bitch, you’re just doing it wrong.
hjaybee: niniboo: mybeautifulmultitudes: dripping-adorableness: fuckyeahfamousblackgirls: Actress Regina Hall messes around with her “Think Like A Man” male co-stars FOREVER FUNNY. omfg lol 😂😂😂 LOL! Who run da world?! kevin hart almost lost his shit LOL. I love this video forever.
almost chanel: soyeahso: skindeap:... →
soyeahso: skindeap: patrickandmarcus: sadboysonly: if you keep the syrup and ketchup in the refrigerator do us a favor and just don’t bring children into the world fuck you Ay but ketchup needs to be in the fridge. Pretty sure that’s one of those refrigerate after… We’ve always kept ketchup and syrup in the pantry. That cold shit can go.
geeksotospeak: 99 percent of the times i see a cat, i have to drop whatever the hell i’m doing and acknowledge that there’s a cat and say hi to the cat and walk up to the cat and try to pet the cat
I purposely find infomercials on TV at night.
They never fail at putting me to sleep.
I know you’re my homegirl and all, I know this… but I do not need you going to the bathroom with me. K?
Bitch. If I wanted cool ranch tacos I would of asked for them.
seahchel: niggaimdeadass: sumney: quixon: Hey y’all, it’s me B with Blue Ivy just hanging out Y’all cmere Come closer Lemme holla at y’all a second Y’all want this damn baby? OMG Q AWWWWWWWFEWDFAEFWFFRSDFSD
oohtheyhavenibbles: I JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT GLOSTER CANARIES AND I’M GONNA CRY LOOKIT THEM THEY HAVE BOWLCUTS BOWLCUTS LOOK AT THAT SMUG LITTLE FUCKER WITH HIS FUCKING BOWLCUT
Nothing ruins your mood to watch porn than a blown out anus being the first thing you see on xvideos.
Sunny's impression of me while PMSing: OMFG MY ICE MELTED IN MY ICE TEA! *sobbing*
Girl I wish that I could spend time witchu each...
Guy: *takes you out on dates* *texts you good morning and good night* *tells you how beautiful you are constantly*
Girl: I think we should just be friends.
Guy: OH YOU THOUGHT I WAS TRYING TO DATE YOU?! HAHAHA! Nawl...
Taking C4 makes everything tingle.
And I mean everything. Even your vagina and butt hole.
What I’d like to do: Take a shower Get ready for work Cook something for lunch Pee What I’m doing: Sitting on the floor
JUST LIKE FIIIIIIIIIIIIINE CHINA.
I like that song. Like… I really, really like that song. Chris Brown finally got me.
Supervisor: Melanie can you go check and see if "insert guys name here" body is still in the morgue.
Me: lol no.